10 Reasons Why Intelligent Men Fail With Women
This is an original Article from David DeAngelo back in the early 2000s.
I have been teaching men how to become more successful with women and dating for several years now... and one"problem scenario" just keeps coming up OVER AND OVER... and OVER
and OVER and OVER again...
...and it's really amazes me.
I'm going to refer to it as"The Genius Failure Paradox".
"The Genius Failure Paradox" is the trend for UNUSUALLY smart men to have very LOW levels of success with women and dating.
After contemplating this particular paradox, discussing it, and working on it for an awesome amount of time, I'd love to share my thoughts about it with you.
I presume that in the event that you've read this far, then you see likely yourself as smarter than the average man.
You are aware that you're a little different than other guys.
You probably realized at a young age that you saw matters differently, and thought differently than others in college...
And you have probably realized that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in many areas of life...
Your smart mind gives you a particular sort of benefit which can be very, very powerful in life: YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT.
Smart people become accustomed to being"right", because they generally ARE right.
And when you are RIGHT more frequently than others, you can get ahead in many circumstances.
By the way, I did state WORSE than useless.
It can actually be like having a hammer if you need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool you've got for your job, you're probably make the situation WORSE.
Naturally, it is hard for a smart guy to even IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could HURT his odds for success...
But trust me, this is one of those situations.
So relax, open your mind, and let me share with you the ten reasons why intelligent men fail with girls... and what to do about it.
And what do most smart guys do if they encounter a situation where they're WRONG?
They locate a new situation... one that matches their strength. They know they'll be right next time, so they simply walk away... knowing it won't be long until they are straight again.
(OR they allow the"problem situation" ruin them... more on that later.)
There is no quick"I am right" around the next corner to make you feel much better.
It merely takes"failing" with a few women in a row to get a wise guy to observe the pattern... and recognize that something is not working.
Solution? Think harder.
A smart man just assumes that his logic must be great... so he just keeps thinking tougher.
However, when no success comes, it really starts
to become emotionally difficult.
Accepting that you're wrong is a VERY hard thing for a"smart man".
Accepting that you are not just wrong, but you don't have any CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is much more difficult.
Ultimately, many smart guys think of the following logical conclusion:
I AM A Wise GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.
Try that to get a self-defeating idea.
REASON #2: THEY'RE BLIND AND ARROGANT
in summary, many smart guys refuse to accept that a good, solid, workable answer could come from somebody"dumber" than them, so that they dismiss any idea that comes from an"obviously less smart person" before trying it.
Allow me to ask you a question:
In case you were going to be walking across Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the man on this world with the highest I.Q., or a caveman who lived just a million years back that had an I.Q. of roughly 50... but who grew up being chased by dinosaurs and all kinds of creatures that wanted to eat him all his life?
It's an interesting question.
Today, ideally you'd love to have the guide who is not the smartest guy around... but who has escaped out of many, many dangerous situations with deadly creatures...
But now let me ask you:
If you'd like to understand the way to be more successful with women and dating, do you take advice from a man who isn't very intelligent, but that knows how to attract women?
There's something about being clever that makes some men unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone that is not either as smart or smarter than them.
Well, any SMART GUY is able to see the folly in this particular approach... once it's analyzed closely.
If you've been making this mistake, then you will need to STOP IT. Stop being an arrogant bastard, and open your eyes.
Look about.
Discover from some"dumb" guys... and let them teach you how to get what you REALLY want.
REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS
It's BLOWS MY MIND how many clever guys I meet that simply don't GET IT when it comes to fundamental social skills.
It is as if they have logically reasoned that social skills are for reduced beings who must play games... and not worth the time it would have to learn them.
Actually, I believe there are a whole lot of
smart men running around this world who do not
even have"social skills" and"be a cool guy that people love" within their"MENTAL MODEL" of what it might possibly have to become successful with women and dating.
Social skills are only the... SKILLS.
They're not social INFORMATION.
They are not social THEORIES.
They're social SKILLS.
And you also don't get them THINKING about them. You get them GETTING them.
Excellent social skills are the basis for good communication with other people... and if you don't have good social skills, you dramatically reduce your odds for success with girls.
REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT
Smart men do something that fascinates the hell out of me...
They come up with all the reasons why everything WON'T WORK when it comes to women and dating.
They actually determine why what they'd love to do will probably fail...
They use their awesome creative imaginations to imagine all sorts of horrible pictures and scenes... and then they use those fanciful outcomes to make negative emotions... which ultimately stop them from having success with women and dating.
THEY DON'T EVEN TRY.
But if you've thought something through and think of a good reason it would fail, it is reasonable to not take action, right?
I mean, why would you need to do things which will fail?
It's sound logic, but HORRIBLE believing when it comes to the REAL WORLD... and success with girls.
Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND ladies, and they do not UNDERSTAND what is needed to achieve success with girls, they're working with poor characters. They're wrong before they even start figuring!
With your mind to come up with the reasons why things will not operate in this area of your life leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You must learn how to overcome this habit if you have it.
REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY"INFORMATIONAL SOLUTIONS"
What exactly does a smart guy do if he runs into a problem... or he needs to figure something out?
He looks for INFORMATION to help him resolve the issue.
MORE INFORMATION is obviously the response.
Information is the friend of a smart guy.
Obtained a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on the internet and search for how to eliminate it.
Do not know how to change the alternator on your car? No prob. Simply purchase the guide and turn to page 147.
Don't know the definition of a word? Open your dictionary.
So what do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming jak zagadać do dziewczyny a problem with girls?
They want MORE Info.
They think the answer lies in learning only ONE MORE TECHNIQUE... or one more magic concept.
How do you even know that it was making things worse?
NowI really don't need to suggest that learning more about the way to be successful with women isn't a good thing. It's not.
But in case you've got an issue that is EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then studying five thousand theories on it likely isn't going to help you very much.
You want to get out from the real world and try some stuff!
You Want to look at the REAL problem... that the Origin of the problem.
When it comes to dating and women, there is an excellent possibility that you've got MORE than enough"information".
Smart guys often use"more information" to distract them from TAKING ACTION.
I've heard this called"Creative Avoidance".
Nod softly if you've ever figured out a creative way to avoid confronting something on your life.
Great, thank you.
REASON #6: THEY FOCUS ON LOGIC INSTEAD OF EMOTION
NEWS JUST IN: Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men who make them THINK.
They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.
I'm shaking my head right now...
Smart guys try to engage girls in LOGICAL interactions and conversations because that is where THEY feel comfortable... not understanding they're SHOOTING THELSEVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!
If you begin a logical conversation with a woman you have just met, you're basically taking out a NEON SIGN that says"I do not get it when it comes to girls" and putting it on your head.
Typical"logical" discussions include things like talking about work, family, faculty, and tasks... discussing politics, religion, weather... and anything that has to do with mathematics, science, or even INTELLIGENCE.
On the other hand, if you start speaking to some woman and you say"OK, so tell me something... Why is it that all girls say that they want sweet, nice guys... but they date sexy, selfish bad boys" (and then make fun of any answer she gives) you're with an EMOTIONAL conversation.
If you don't understand what I'm talking about, keep reading. You want more help than I believed.
REASON #7: THEY'RE NOT USED TO THE CHALLENGE OF THE MOMENT
Smart people usually have time to Consider things.
If you're taking a test, you could sit and work out the answers.
If you have a mathematics problem, it is possible to work on it till you've figured it out.
If you're trying to fix something, you can keep working on it till it's fixed.
Smart men are used to having the ability to take at least a small bit of time to prepare and flaunt their"good sides" in many situations.
Not so with girls...
If you don't understand what to do at each step along the way, you'll be shut down very quickly.
Girls have an AMAZING"He does not make it" radar system.
Girls have all types of subtle and ingenious tests which they throw at men to separate the"get its" from the"don't get its".
And if you don't get that, then you're going to fail one of these tests speedily.
However, the worst part is that you won't ever KNOW you were being analyzed... OR that you neglected.
Smart guys aren't used to dealing with complex EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the moment... and especially the"women and dating" kind.
One of they keys to becoming more successful with women and dating is learning to handle all the evaluations that women throw at you effortlessly.
However, before you can learn to take care of the tests, you must first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you have fundamental social skills, and how to keep your cool in the moment.
REASON #8: THEY THINK THAT DOING"NICE" THINGS IS THE"SMART WAY"
OK, allow me to ask you a trick question:
When I told you that you were going to have a date with the supermodel of your choice, which of the following would you select as a"smart" method of planning:
1) Find out what her favorite type of flowers are, and show up with a dozen of them so she would be"wowed".
2) Learn about her favourite travel destination so that you could talk about it with her.
3) Find out what her favorite type of food is so that you may take her to dinner... and she could see that you cared enough to choose something that she enjoyed. Which did you choose?
Now, I already mentioned that this is a TRICK question.
However WHY?
These three options all seemed logical, right?
I mean, why WOULDN'T you want to show up with her favourite flowers?
Why WOULDN'T you want to discuss her favorite places to travel?
Why WOULDN'T you wish to take her to eat her favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?
Move with me here...
Smart guys believe that they're being CLEVER when they do things like buying a girl her favorite flowers... and bringing them into the FIRST DATE.
Proper?
In their heads, they're thinking"I'm going to be the man who's thinking ahead... and now I'm going to appear with all the flowers that I KNOW she loves... and she's likely to see them and like me more because of it".
Makes sense... good mathematics, right?
Well the one teensy-weensy error these"smart" guys make is not realizing that it does not really take a smart person to think like this!
In fact, ANY jackass can work out how to kiss a lady's ass.
WOMEN KNOW THIS!
And guess what else?
EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.
An intelligent man, in his proud arrogance, will believe he's being such the charmer by using this"thoughtful" strategy...
...and the woman he is pursuing will interpret it as just another Wussy who is trying to MANIPULATE her. Another blow to intellect.
Have you ever met someone who would really argue with you about something that they knew nothing about... https://www.washingtonpost.com/newssearch/?query=seduction and make a fool of themselves because they just could not close their"smart mouths"?
Over the past few years helping guys improve their success with women, I visit this 1 pattern over and over again...
Smart guys do not like to be"beginners" at ANYTHING.
They do not like the notion of screwing up... especially if they're seeing.
They want to keep this"smart guy" picture of themselves... so they try to always be"The Expert" at anything they do. I'm a beginner at this... how do I do it? What if I do ? What next?" ... and rather than being completely OK with screwing up, making mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in front of other people so as to LEARN...
...they won't risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking they're novices... so that they wind up ultimately FAILING.
MORE NEWS JUST IN: It is OK to be a beginner.
MISTAKE #10: THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH FEAR AND OTHER EMOTIONS
A smart man's STRENGTH is his MIND.
His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.
Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.
Entirely stopped.
And since many smart men are not comfortable dealing with things they are not good at, they just repress or RUN from fear.
Many guys prefer to DIE in lonely isolation than admit that they don't know how to deal with their emotions... or, GODFORBID, request help!
I know what it is like.
But the reality is that any man can learn how to handle as well as MASTER his feelings (even panic )... when he takes the time and effort to understand how to do it.
If this is you, then do yourself a huge favor... take the time. Pick out the effort.
Do not worry about what anyone else thinks of you... it doesn't matter.
What matters is that you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.
...I feel the main reason why I'm so fascinated with"The Genius Failure Paradox" is because I have had to fight with all of these problems for a lot of years of my life.
Now, I'm not saying that I am the smartest guy in the world...
But I do not think mamma raised no fool.
And it always bothered the hell out of me that even though I had been so good at figuring out things, I couldn't figure WOMEN out.
Something tells me that you know what I'm talking about.
Well, after beating my head against the wall for a couple years... attempting all sorts of mad"logical" stuff... I eventually got the"bright" idea to begin studying men who were"naturally" good with girls.
Of course, I found out you might be both NOT SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at the same moment.
I also heard that you can be wise and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.
By carefully analyzing what the"naturals" did with women... and learning how they"thought" about the topic, I started to realize that success with women was not entirely LOGICAL.
Much of what I heard was quite tough for me to accept... since my logical brain just didn't need to purchase it.
One thing that I saw was men pushing women away from them... and with the girls then chase them in response.
Made no sense in any respect.
I watched men tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces... then watched those girls become"little women" in reaction... unable to maintain their composure, and therefore unable to maintain their manipulative power...
It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was studying until I personally figured out how to approach women in any situation... get any woman's number I wanted anytime I wanted... date some other kind of girl I desired...
...and above all, GET RID of the"empty" feeling that I carried around my whole life because I did not find out how to attract girls.
And after I got this area of my own life together, I decided to help other guys get this area of THEIR lives collectively.
And I'd love to invite you to register.
It is completely free, there's no obligation, I will never share your email address with anyone, and you can easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I'll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email when you try to remove yourself).
Of course, it even gets better than that...
In addition to my free Secret Society Letter, I also have a killer downloadable eBook which you can download right now and be reading in literally MINUTES from right now.
It is JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for overcoming fear, approaching women, getting phone numbers and email address from women quickly, great inexpensive or even free date ideas, and how to take things to a"physical" level smoothly and easily.
And I will speak to you soon.